Ameliorate This Heart

I'm letting this you go
like I've done before
like I'll do again
each new pedestrian epiphany
sharpening a character
a compilation
a part I enjoy playing
when given the chance

Whatever it is this time
feels special
and I write that
knowing full well it's a lie
a white knight preaching providence
from a horse on high
as grass stains are a pain
even in the 21st century

This is an ordinary love
the sort of thing I'll keep with me
I'll tie it to your name
and your nickname
and when the conversation turns
to famous female aviators
or Canadian wildlife
I'll share a smile with your memory

When I'm back to being all alone
your secrets will keep me company
honest nothings that matter
just the same
brief regressions
to a sleepy head
resting on a rising chest
murmuring in silent agreement

No one will fix this broken heart
because I like being broken
but you will make it better
even if it hurts
even if your abscence is painful
there is a you
a you I'll be loving
with every beat

(Not Quite) Human After All

We don't want to be fixed
because that implies we're broken
or capable of breaking
capable of forsaking culpability
as if we were robots
rocking out to a technologic
that makes our excuses 0s and 1s
on/off right/wrong true/false
emotionless outputs
in the prime time of our lives

If self-discovery were so simple
it would make life too long
the voyage cut short
circumvented by a checklist
that outputs a personality
a digitally accurate love
pairing you with the perfect person
but there's something about us
when we're face to face
makes me better, faster, stronger

I'm not your teacher
but I have some homework for you
burn these words
and roll in the ashes
watch for the inevitable phoenix
and figure out what it means
to be alive
to revolt against binary existence
to scratch that infinite itch
and find a fresh funk in every step

Unbirthday

Let's celebrate another day
begrudgingly
because the sun will come out tomorrow
and we're in agreement
that we'd rather stay wrapped up
till it does

Wrapped in this half-sleep
half-wishing we were asleep but not really
sort of cocoon
that stretches individual minutes
to their breaking point
stretches reality till it snaps

There's nothing special about today
only that you're here
which is the sort of event
I'd like to honor
even as it becomes a non-event
becomes something other than what it is